So anyway having survived quite some time as a conscript, I think that it is actually not as bad as what many made it out to be. But still, there are many weird things that I have personally never seen/experienced before in my 18 years as a civilian that I have seen in just a few weeks of conscription.
For instance, there is the infamous hair cutting session, which is touted to be the point in time where every enlistee leaves behind his individuality and civilian identity in order to gain uniformity with his fellow comrades, or basically one of the few point in time when everyone wished they were Sikh. So what happens is that a fat malay woman comes in and treats your head as a crystal ball and toss it here and there while shaving at whats left of your pride. After that ordeal, with the fine bits of hair still held firm to the skin of my body by my surprisingly adhesive sweat, I emerged looking like a giant clump of walking pubic hair.
Pictured: A Giant Clump Of Walking Pubic Hair.
And the people there are quite epic too. As you all know, me myself is also quite fat, but the size of some of the people here is seriously of epic proportions; literally. I now am a firm believer of Evolution because obviously God raised the giant whales from the sea and evolved them into these people cos there is no way God could have only used 6 days to create them. I mean they seem so bound by their own fats so much so that they cant even fucking turn around to wipe their ass when they shit. Once I saw this really huge Indian guy so huge that his belly fats were curled into rolls and folds,so when he laid down on the floor, his fat rolls and folds makes him literally look like a spread of nutella with all its ripples.
“Jack,I Want You To Draw Me Like One Of Your French Girls.”
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And seriously, the birds (like sparrows and mynahs) in the camp are fucking fearless; they just fucking swoop down upon anyone unlucky enough to come in their way (commanders or recruits alike)
Its like as though someone was throwing a bunch of pissed off birds at a group of fat pig-looking guys clad in green. Fuck,it seems as if God was playing a game of Angry Birds with us.
And just a side track, after emerging from beneath a rock that is the army camp, I just heard that the MRT system was rocked by a series of delays and that the respective authority “has not ruled out sabotage.”. Seriously, who are they going to push to blame to next? The Digletts?
“You Want Some Of This,Bitch?”
Okay fine,maybe they can blame The Digletts.
Gosh Do I Love The Public Transport System.
The Ever Faithful Holy Man
16/03/2012